My Return to Television

I was once a television commercial star. This commercial featured my cat Muffin and me lounging on a blanket in front of a fireplace. I was wearing a pink fuzzy housecoat. Muffin was not. I was the perfect actress because I was precocious, intelligent and looked a good three years younger than I actually was. Those are the makings of a child star, right there. People raved about my performance and called it “the most moving television commercial of 1992.” Continue reading

I Don’t Like Curry

One of my very favourite things to do is to buy an item I have no idea how to prepare, then spend an afternoon looking up different ways to cook this item. I usually find a few I like and then combine them and hope it tastes good. Sometimes it’s decent, other times it’s raddichio, and on some other really special occasions, I send a OH MY GOSH I AM A CULINARY GODDESS text to a friend.

This weekend I made something new. I have no experience eating or cooking with curry, so it scares me a little. The smell is upsetting to me. But because I am stubborn and I decided I was going to like curry, I bought some. I also bought a butternut squash and some coconut milk because none of my life choices make sense, apparently. I cook with squash on a fairly regular basis (it’s the Mennonite in me), but coconut milk is new. So hey, why not find a recipe that combines all of these things? OKAY! COOL! The results were I AM A CULINARY GODDESS spectacular, so I had to share.

This is the first time I’ve ever published one of my slightly made up recipes and I’m feeling a little vulnerable. It’s going to be long. It might not make sense, but it’ll be entertaining. I promise.

Curried Apple & Butternut Squash Soup Continue reading

Lydia & Elizabeth & Bast & Moyer

Today’s the big day! It’s time to reveal our fun little vlog project that we did with our friends Lydia and Elizabeth.

We gave them a list of Canadian trivia questions. They answered them, then we told them the right answers. The results were quite spectacular.

First, watch their video:

Hahah, they’re so cute and clueless.

delicious.

Next, watch our video:

Keep your stick on the ice.

Hope you learned something new! Happy Monday!

National Kazoo Day

Today’s the big day! Happy National Kazoo Day, friends!

I made a video to honour such a prestigious and emotion-filled event. I hope you thoroughly enjoy it.

I sincerely apologize to my neighbours who had to endure all of the rigorous hours of kazoo practice. I’d say it won’t happen again, but I can’t make any promises. Still, I’m sorry.

Please check out some other National Kazoo Day videos courtesy of some friends of mine.
The Moyers (This video accurately explains the Moyer family better than I ever could)
Ricky Anderson (Thanks for letting me in on the fun, Ricky!)
Ricky Anderson (2011)

A Very Canadian Video

My Internet friends Lydia and Elizabeth have a vlog. They’re quite delightful. You should watch their vlog.

My Mom Friend Jan and I decided to join forces with these ladies from Nashville and make a fun little project. Over Christmas break, MF (Mom Friend) and I got together to record our part of the vlog. We discovered that we’re rather delightful as well.

Here’s a Bast (me) and Moyer (MF) History lesson (with lots of links): I prayed I’d meet someone like her (weird, right?), we met at church, we teamed up to teach the toddler Sunday School class, we became good friends, we ended up teaching at the same school, she wrote a guest blog post for me, she joined the blogging world for herself, and this September we started working on the same teaching team at school. We see each other 6 days a week. It’s kind of ridiculous. You’d think we would run out of things to talk about, but we never do (much to MF’s Bearded Husband’s dismay). So put the two of us in front of a camera, and the result? 20 minutes of footage. It’s really spectacular. All 20 minutes of it. I won’t make you watch all of it in one chunk. No no. That’s too much awesome to handle at one time.

So instead, here’s a teaser. A little Canadian treat.

Watch for our L&E debut in the coming weeks!
In the meantime you can follow everyone on Twitter:
Lydia & Elizabeth
Mom Friend

Things You Should Stop Saying

Listen. I’ve got pet peeves. It’s no secret. One of my biggest pet peeves  is when people say the same things over and over and expect them to be funny or clever or original every time. It’s almost as bad as the time in high school my buddy watched the Best of Will Ferrell SNL DVD and quoted it incessantly for months. MONTHS. Goulet.

I’ve created a ranting list of phrases I don’t like. I apologize in advance for the high level of snark you’re about to witness. Because y’all, it’s hiiiigh.

“I’m not gonna lie…”
Oh GOOD. I’m so glad you told me this upfront. Otherwise I would have assumed everything that came out of your mouth was a complete fabrication. Before you say anything else, I request that you tell me whether or not it is truth because I’m too dumb to figure it out for myself. Please and thank you.

“BACON! AHHAHAHAHAHAHHA”
Bacon is a food. Yes, it is delicious. Yes, the general population really enjoys bacon. Bacon is even considered to be “the new black”. But it’s not a punchline. Stop using it like one. Bacon is excellent, but it is not funny. It is a breakfast food. Stop pretending it is anything more than that, you ham.

“That [awkward] moment when…”
Teenagers of the world: I get that you think awkward stuff is funny. For the most part, you’re right. But the problem is half of the stuff you’re labelling as “awkward” isn’t. Seeing your crush in the hallway isn’t awkward. Unless you barf on him maybe. Adults of the world: You’re not teenagers. Stop it.

“This is going to be legen….wait for it…”
NO. No no no. I will not wait for it. How dare you make me wait for half of a word that won’t even describe what you’re wanting it to describe! Having one character in the world do this is insufferable already. Every time you leave your house to do something remotely interesting isn’t legendary. The time you and your buddies went to the bar and drank some beers is not going to be written down in history books. Regular social outings are not legendary. Stop it.

Anyone who leaves a comment using a combination of two or more of these phrases in order to intentionally irritate me.
No.

Do you have something to add to the list?

Get Out of Bed

I love my bed. I love my mattress and my sheets and my duvet and my pillows and my pile of blankets. There is nothing in my apartment that I love more than my bed. I get excited to go to bed early. I adore sleeping in late. Every morning I make breakfast, then crawl back into bed to eat my morning meal. I drink coffee in bed. I drink tea in bed. I watch movies in my bed. I wrote this in my bed. If I have a choice between a chair or my bed, I’ll choose my bed every time. If there were a way to work from my bed, I’d get that job. My bed is my safe place. It is my fortress of solitude and comfort.

When my alarm goes at 6am every morning, I don’t want to leave my bed. It’s warm and lovely, and the rest of the world can wait. Some days there are reasons to get out of bed. There is work to be done, awesome people to see and exciting things to do. I can make an impact and get the job done! I can encourage and bring joy to the people around me! There is a day that needs seizing, and the only person who can do that is me! Life can’t get any better!

Other days? Getting out of bed is hard. I have plans and I cancel them because the thought of being anywhere other than under the covers is terrifying. On the weekends my bed is more attractive than grocery shopping or cleaning. Sleeping in is far more comfortable than dragging myself to church and sitting alone in the back row. My bed is far more accepting and kind than anyone else I know.

That sounds lazy. That sounds like I lack self-discipline or motivation. But sometimes? Sometimes I know my day is going to be a downward spiral from the moment I pull those covers back. Some days are hard to face. Nasty co-workers, a nagging boss, broken relationships, no relationships, a crappy immune system, an aching body, piles of textbook readings, never-ending assignments, dirty dishes stacked up to the ceiling, unpaid bills, an empty bank account, the deafening silence of loneliness, the shame of poor choices. The list goes on. The circumstances in our lives can pin us to our sheets in fear and dread. Some days, all of your energy and motivation is spent peeling the covers back and setting your feet on the ground.

In the comfort of our bed, we start believing that we’ll accomplish nothing important, so why bother in the first place? We all get lonely and think no one likes us. We have things we’re ashamed of and wish we could erase. We’re broken. Some days will, in fact, be a downward spiral until you seek the solace of your sheets again. Some days you will accomplish nothing. Some days will be terribly sad and full of grief. Some days will be desperately lonely. Some days will be quite terrible.

And on those days? The bravest thing you can do is get out of bed.